Over the Line - Domestic Violence in Sports - Part 1

Episode #46 - Domestic Violence in Sports Part 1

[Shaun]
Last season, we shared stories of domestic violence victims from all walks of life. For the next two weeks, we’re turning our attention to a space where these stories make headlines—but are quickly forgotten once the stadium lights turn on.

[John]
We’re talking about professional sports. The big names, the scandals that briefly make the news, and then… we move on. But for the victims, these stories don’t disappear so easily.

[Shaun]
From the NFL to the WNBA and beyond, domestic violence in sports is a topic that rarely gets the attention it deserves. We’re diving into those stories over the next two episodes.

[John]
Because while the world might move on, we think it’s time to take a closer look at what happens when the game is over.

(Music - Pause for 8 seconds)

[Shaun] 

Hi and welcome to Sins and Survivors, a Las Vegas true crime podcast, where we focus on cases that deal with domestic violence, as well as missing persons and unsolved cases. I’m your host, Shaun, and with me as always, is the one and only John.

[John] 

I am the only John in the room.

[Shaun] 

Hi everyone, and welcome to our first episode of Season 2 of Sins & Survivors. 

In our first year with the podcast, we covered quite a few cases, some of which were fairly high-profile. One topic we haven't touched yet though is domestic violence in professional sports. We did cover a little bit about stalking in the sports world, and the case of sportscaster Erin Andrews, so today we’d like to shine a light on this. 

The scary thing that happened when we decided to highlight this as a part of 2024 Domestic Violence Awareness Month is that we quickly realized we could have just created a whole season just talking about these cases, so this might be one that we revisit in the future. 

Instead of dedicating a whole season to this topic… for now, for the next two episodes, we will focus on cases from the National Football League, the WNBA, Track and Field, Mixed Martial Arts, Major League Baseball, and of course, Boxing.

[John] 

When we started researching this topic and these cases, It really felt like we had both “taken the red pill”. It was shocking to really take a look at the whole idea of domestic violence and sports (that includes NCAA / College sports AND professional sports by the way) and notice a couple of things.

Firstly, there have been relatively few recent studies specifically geared toward sports and domestic violence rates that we can find, so there isn't a lot of compelling evidence that the rates of domestic violence among professional athletes exceed the rates for non-athletes. The fact that there aren't that many professional athletes compared to the over 300,000,000 people in the United States means you have a small sample to analyze too.

One thing we DID come across though, is that even if the rates at which these crimes are committed are similar, the arrest rates are not, which could be linked to the privilege of having a high-prestige job like being a baseball or football player, potentially earning millions of dollars a year, which could lead to more lenient treatment.

[Shaun] 

The problem of victims being taken seriously and even believed is a constant problem, but it gets worse when the offender is a pitcher for the local MLB team. In one case, the police not only didn't help the victim of a horrific and violent crime, but they actually accused the victim of seeming like “a vindictive girlfriend”, effectively engaging in victim blaming and implying that she somehow brought it on herself.

Not great, and not what we want for victims of domestic violence. In our first of two episodes we’ll be talking about some high-profile domestic violence cases that have taken place since 2014 in Major League Baseball, the WNBA (maybe surprisingly) and of course, the case everyone seems to be familiar with from the National Football League.

Do you want to get us started talking about MLB pitcher Sam Dyson’s case?

Case #1 - Sam Dyson (MLB)

[John] 

Sure. Sam Dyson was Born May 7th, 1988 in Tampa, Florida. He played high school baseball at the Tampa Jesuit High School and was actually such a stand out that he was drafted out of high school by the Washington Nationals when he graduated in 2006, but he decided to go to college instead of going straight into the major leagues. 

That had to have been tempting though, given that the minimum starting salary in major league baseball in 2006 was $327,000, equivalent to about $578,000 in 2024 dollars, and remember that would have been the minimum he would have made. That’s a lot more than most high school seniors were looking at earning their first year out of high school.

He ended up going to school in South Carolina and becoming a Gamecock, where he had an outstanding 4 years of baseball.

He was then drafted by the Toronto Bluejays in the 4th round of the 2010 MLB draft but quickly got injured. He did play for them in 2012 after playing for their affiliated PCL minor league team and getting healthy.

Over the next 7 years, he bounced around a bit, playing for the Miami Marlins from 2013-2015, then the Texas Rangers from 2015-2017, the San Francisco Giants from 2017-2019, then finally the Minnesota Twins in 2019. After that… he entered free agency, and the Twins were the last MLB team he’d play for.

During his career, he had a pattern of getting into altercations pretty much wherever he went. In May of 2014 he was playing for the New Orleans Zephyrs (who were later renamed the New Orleans “Baby Cakes”.. AAA teams names are strange) The Zephyrs were the minor league team affiliated with the Marlins for about 6 years.

Anyway, he got into a fight with teammate Chris Hatcher in a bar after a game that neither of them had even played in. It wasn't much of a fight apparently. Hatcher punched Dyson in the face for some unknown reason (they apparently don't like to talk about it) breaking his jaw. Dyson was out for 6 weeks needing jaw surgery, and Hatcher received a pretty stiff suspension from the team.

[Shaun] 

In 2015, Dyson was back and playing for the Texas Rangers. The Rangers made it all the way to the American League Divisional series (basically the quarterfinals .. the two winners of the divisional series play in the American League Championship Series to determine who goes to the World Series to face the National League Champion.

During game 5 of the ALDS, Dyson managed to provoke a bench-clearing near brawl on the field that started with an argument with José Bautista whose actions he didn't approve of after the batter hit a 3-run home run off of him to take the lead in the game. The batter “flipped his bat” which apparently offended Dyson’s sense of sportsmanship. (unclear if this is worse than initiating an argument that cleared the benched but whatever)

All of this isn’t great, but unfortunately, Dyson has been accused of far far worse by his now ex-girlfriend Alexis Blackburn on multiple occasions in 2019 and then again in 2021.

The incidents in 2019 and 2021  and the following lawsuit are culminations of what is, according to Alexis as reported in the Athletic, a long series of abusive patterns and behaviors from Dyson with alleged psychological, emotional abuse, and sexual violence that spanned their 6 year long relationship. We’re not going to go into a lot of the details here, but the experience was extremely traumatizing for Alexis.

We should also note that investigators with the Athletic named Katie Strang and Ken Rosenthal were able to validate many of the accusations from Alexis.  Of course we should always believe victims when these things happen, but we wanted to mention this independent investigation too.

As we’ve talked about before when it comes to abusive behaviors they can often start small, and escalate, often into violence. A friend and co-worker of Alexis’ who wanted to remain anonymous said that she found certain behaviors exhibited by Sam Dyson pretty “odd” and concerning.

At first, Alexis would make offhand comments to her about how he didn't like her wearing white shirts at work.. Or didn't want her wearing makeup or her hair in a certain way which are all indications of controlling and manipulative actions and behavior. She also said that Dyson would “surprise her” at work (she worked in retail in a mall in Dallas at this time, but to her friend, it seemed like Dyson was checking up on her.

She brought this up to Alexis several times and as a result, Alexis quit her job and blocked her on all social media. You might be able to guess what happened there, but Alexis told Dyson about it, and he said that her friend was “a bad influence”, and in the process he exhibited another classic indication of abusive behavior, isolating her from her friends.

[John] 

Other friends of the couple noticed things that seemed off as well. After Alexis quit her job, another friend said she seemed a bit more withdrawn and had less of her characteristic spark. 

She also made it a point to take note of the frequent demeaning and denigrating comments that Dyson said to her. 

She tried to help Alexis get a job in the service industry (she worked at a bar) but of course, Dyson wasn't going to let that happen. Shortly after that they were no longer hanging out anymore. 

We can't say why for sure, but it seems more than likely that it was Dyson that might have made that happen. A lot of his behavior seems to have come from low self esteem, of course. Alexis later said that Dyson was afraid that patrons would hit on her and she would leave him

At one point he even texted her a lengthy list of things that he didn't like about her, which we won't read, but was honestly just awful, and nothing any person should have to endure.

Dyson got traded to San Francisco in 2019, and it’s at the end of 2019 that things really came to a head.

On October 6th, 2019 there was a violent incident between the two that involved her black kitty, Snuckles. During a fight, Dyson had kicked Snuckles hallowen themed kitty house with Snuckles inside, hurting him badly. (we’ll say up front that happily Snuckles was eventually okay)

[Shaun] 

After this incident the two of them filed a police report with the Jupter Florida police and sat for a recorded interview, which from the account we read was very disturbing. It had the feel of just being a formality despite the seriousness of what had happened. Dyson admitted to kicking the little house though he “claimed” that he didnt know the cat was inside, which of course is totally irrelevant, because there’s never a reason to kick a cat’s house in a maniacal rage whether or not you think the cat is inside.

Also in that interview, Alexis can be heard saying “I'm absolutely terrified of what he's capable of doing”, later explaining that he had firearms and she was genuinely fearful for her life.

In the end though, as so often happens, the police offered no solutions, no help, no hope for someone in a desperate situation where her life might very well be in danger. They treated the situation flippantly and treated Dyson like he was a celebrity, and one of them ended the interview by saying “Ok, get back to your workout, bud!”. 

[John]

That brings us to the night of November 19th, 2019. The couple had been living together in Jupiter Florida (which I admittedly find confusing since he was playing for the Giants at that point), and on that night, they ended things, and Dyson essentially threw her out without letting her get her belongings.

Alexis called the Jupiter Florida police and calmly tried to explain this, all the while knowing that her ex was a well-known professional baseball player, and she even attempted to keep the whole thing quiet and out of the news. She just wanted her belongings, and to move on with her life.

The police were absolutely no help to her, ostensibly because her name was not on the deed to the home, but something that stuck out to Alexis was that one of the police officers she spoke to said she sounded like “a vindictive girlfriend”. 

I’m not really aware of what training had been given up to that point to the Jupiter Police Department about the proper protocol when dealing with the victim of domestic violence, but I feel pretty safe in saying this wouldn't meet the minimum professional standards anyone would expect.

[Shaun] 

It was a day later, November 20th that she learned Snuckles was going to need emergency surgery, and that seems like it was the thing that snapped her into anger. Anger that this had happened, anger that she had endured it for so long, and of course anger on behalf of her beloved pet.

Thankfully she was able to reach out to the wife of one of Dyson’s teammates whom she was friendly with to start the ball rolling to find resources within the MLB. 

On the 26th, she posted about the incident with Snuckles on Instagram which was a brilliant way to highlight what was happening with something we can all agree on, that violence against animals is as abhorrent as violence against a domestic partner.

Her post showed Snuckles on a Halloween-themed kitty house, and then in the next photo, the house was completely smashed. She posted in Snuckles voice explaining that “her mom had ended a toxic relationship with a toxic person”

Very shortly after that, to their great credit. Major League Baseball opened an investigation into Dyson. 10 months later Dyson was suspended for the entire 2021 season for violating their domestic violence policy which was introduced in 2015. 

The MLB and the MLB Players Association came out with an official policy on domestic violence, child abuse, and sexual abuse following a series of high-profile domestic violence cases in the NFL (one of which we’ll talk about in a bit). You can read the policy in its entirety, we’ve made a short link for it at sinspod.co/mlb. We’ll also include that in the show notes.

The policy is seemingly pretty comprehensive and doesn't specify a minimum or maximum penalty for these crimes.

[John]

While its great that Dyson was essentially driven out of Major League Baseball due to all of this, there was never any legal consequence. He never spent a moment in jail, nor was he formally charged or tried in a court of law, which is outrageous.

In fact, in 2022, he signed with the Toros de Tijuana (the Tijunana Bulls) in the Mexican baseball league and played over 40 games with them. He sort of fell off the radar after that, but his baseball career hasn't seemingly directly suffered other than not playing in the MLB anymore.

In 2021, Alexis initiated a civil lawsuit in which she outlined the full details of all of the horrors she endured with Dyson over their six year relationship, and its so much worse than most people knew. 

She included allegations of rape, battery, of course, and infliction of emotional distress. She even describes how he forced her to get an abortion at one point after sexually assaulting her when she told him she was pregnant with their child.

Not directly related, but the lawsuit also detailed Dyson's overt and ongoing racism, using the n-word referring to African American baseball players and using racial slurs when talking about players of Hispanic descent.

Since this is a civil suit and litigation is ongoing, we obviously don't know what the result will be, we just want to say how thankful we are that Alexis was able to escape this nightmare situation with this man and we wish her nothing but the best in her journey to get justice and heal and continue with her life.

Her life and Instagram are private now, but she does have the hashtag “#believevictims” in her bio, and a link to the National Domestic Violence Hotline website which is thehotline.org. We’ve added that website to our list of DV resources, and you can always find that at sinspod.co/resources. 

As always if you or someone you know is in a domestic violence situation please avail yourself of these resources and do what you can to assure your safety, your children's safety, and your pet's safety. Possessions can be replaced, but people, children, and pets cannot.

Case #2 - Riquna Williams (WNBA)

[Shaun] 

The next sport we’ll talk about might surprise some people, but of course, domestic violence is absolutely not limited to being a problem in heterosexual couples or only among cisgender people. Violence is violence and it needs to be called out and prosecuted. 

The WNBA has a well-developed code of conduct for its players they agreed to in the 2020 collective bargaining agreement that is valid through 2027. You can see that one at sinspod.co/wnba . It covers a lot of things in addition to having a fully separate addendum for domestic violence, so things like gun violence, and gambling are also covered.

There have been a few cases of domestic violence in the WNBA but we’re going to focus on Riquna Williams who most recently played with the Las Vegas Aces during their back-to-back championship seasons in 2022 and 2023

Riquna was born in Pahokee Florida on May 28th, 1990, and attended the University of Florida. She was drafted by the Tulsa Shock where she played from 2012-2015. She had an outstanding first few years in the league, making the all-rookie team in 2013, winning the 6th player award in 2013, and making the WNBA all-star team in 2015.

She also held several records in the league for a while including the most 3-pointers made in a game (8) and the most points scored (an impressive 51) a record that stood until 2018

She played for the LA Sparks from 2017-2020 but she was plagued by serious injuries including a back injury after the 2022 finals with the Aces that kept her out for the entire 2023 season, a ruptured Achilles tendon when she was playing for the Sparks in 2016, and some shoulder injuries as well.

[John]

In December of 2019 she was arrested in her hometown in Florida, for assault and burglary. She was accused of assaulting her ex-girlfriend after breaking into her house and then punching her in the face and pulling out her hair.. There was a man present at the time when Riquna forced her way onto the apartment along with his 10-year-old son.. These two tried to help the victim and it took nearly 10 minutes to break the two women up and Williams actually threatened the father with a firearm. 

It's extremely lucky for everyone involved that she chose to drive away and something much worse didn't end up happening. She was suspended by the league for 7 games after the incident, and interestingly her ex said that she had never been violent before.

She was charged with burglary with assault or battery and one count of aggravated assault with a firearm. These are two very serious felony charges that could result in life in prison under Florida law.

In 2023, about midway through a season in which she’d missed every game due to a back injury, she was arrested again in Las Vegas, for domestic battery by strangulation, assault constituting domestic violence with the use of a deadly weapon, coercion constituting domestic violence with the threat or use of physical force, and domestic battery.

This time though, the violence was directed against her wife, who she married in September of 2022. Her wife almost immediately relocated to Florida, presumably to put some space between the two.

Her pattern of behavior there seemed to be similar. She stole her partner’s phone and got into it, and claimed to have found evidence that she was being “unfaithful”. Leading to the assault and strangulation.

We talk a lot about this, but strangulation is absolutely a red line, and very often a precursor to murder. Women who are strangled are 600% more likely to be murdered subsequently

[Shaun] 

The league suspended Riquna for 10 games this time, and the Aces precluded her from attending all team events. 

The charges were dropped against her on September 7th, 2023. Essentially the court realized that with a victim who was not willing to cooperate, the grand jury was unlikely to return an indictment, so the charges were just dropped for that reason. Riquna wanted very much to return to the Aces who were just gearing up for the playoffs, but it never happened.

The Aces went on to win the WNBA championship again in 2023, but weirdly there was never much mention of Riquna except to mention that she was on the injured list. She never played in the finals that year, though she was technically a member of the team for a second championship. 

In 2024 she’s gone from the roster, and I don't actually recall there being a formal announcement that she was being released by the aces. We hope she’s getting the help she needs to break this pattern, and we wish her wife well in her recovery.

Case #3 - Ray Rice (NFL)

[Shaun] 

It’s October, the WNBA playoffs are happening, the World Series will start later this month, and football season is in full swing. For decades, advocates and fans of the game have been critical of how the NFL handles domestic violence allegations made against its players. 

One of the most well-known and highly publicized cases of domestic violence in the NFL is Ray Rice’s assault of his then-fiance, Janay. 

Ray Rice was a running back for the Baltimore Ravens until he was arrested for assaulting Janay in February 2014. When the video of that assault was made public by TMZ, Ray was indefinitely suspended from the NFL and cut from the Ravens, and anyone who saw that shocking video understands and respects what motivated that decision. 

But before we get into the video and the aftermath, do you want to share some background on Janay and Ray?

[John] 

Yes, I find this case really interesting, and I’m glad we’re sharing it with our listeners. Janay Palmer was born in upstate New York on January 14, 1988. Her mom goes by Candy and her dad’s name is Joseph. Janay has said that her life growing up was very different from Ray’s. 

Ray Rice is almost exactly a year older than Janay, born on January 22, 1987. He grew up in New Rochelle, NY. with his mom Janet Rice. His dad, Calvin Reed was shot and killed as an innocent bystander in a drive by shooting when Ray was only 1 year old. 

Ray suffered a second loss at 10 years old when his father figure and cousin Shaun Rice Nichols died in a car accident. He has said that at that point, he needed to become the man of the house and look out his 3 younger siblings. 

Janay and Ray’s high schools were sports rivals. They met at a movie theater when Janay was 14 and Ray was 15. According to Janay, the two hung out as friends for more than 5 years before they started dating in 2007. 

[Shaun] 

Ray was a tremendously talented and accomplished athlete. When he was a junior in high school, his school won state. He holds the state record for yards in a single game: he gained 462 yards on 42 carries on October 24, 2004. He went to Rutgers, and while Ray was on the team, Rutgers had its first winning season in 13 years. During his college career he went on to set and break multiple records. 

He decided to leave college early and enter the draft in 2008, after his junior year. Janay had said that this is when she knew their relationship had become serious; Ray confided in her about his decision to leave school. 

Ray was drafted by the Baltimore Ravens in the second round and signed a $2.8 million dollar 4 year contract, with a $1.1 million signing bonus. According to Janay, after Ray was drafted he broke down in tears and asked her to move to Maryland with him, and she agreed. She herself had just finished her first 2 years of community college and was looking to enroll in a 4-year university. Janay enrolled in Towson University and was living in her own apartment. She has said that she was sold on her future with Ray. 

Janay would later tell ESPN that this first year in Baltimore was the hardest for the couple. They were young, rich, and famous. She was working and going to school, and the two were both new to Baltimore and only had each other. 

Ray was very successful with the Ravens, and any articles you can find about Ray from before the assault are extremely favorable. He was well-liked with a good sense of humor, and the press liked writing stories about him, his relationship with his mom, and the story of how he came from a rough and disadvantaged upbringing, in particular the details of the deaths of his father and father figure. Reporters wrote about his generosity and his work with the Make a Wish Foundation and other organizations. In 2012, he was voted the city of Baltimore’s most charitable person, and he was named to the Pro Bowl for the 3rd time. 

Also in 2012, Janay and Ray got engaged, and a few weeks later, Janay found out she was expecting the couple’s first child. The 2012 football season ended with the Baltimore Ravens winning the SuperBowl in February 2013. During that game, Ray had 20 carries for 59 yards and four receptions for 19 yards. 

[John] 

All of his success, his fame, his relationship with Janay, his involvement with his community – all of these factors made the assault so shocking when it occurred. 

We want to acknowledge that what we share here is largely taken from Janay’s own accounts of what happened. She gave extensive interviews to Jemele Hill at ESPN, Gayle King on CBS, and even Matt Lauer.

As we mentioned before, Janay had said things were rough for her and Ray when they first moved to Baltimore, but she thought her relationship with Ray was mostly typical boyfriend-girlfriend. They would argue at times. When their daughter Rayven was born in 2013 they had some issues adjusting to being parents. They would argue over who was going out too much, that Ray wasn’t changing enough diapers, and they weren’t spending that much time together. 

Janay told ESPN that they started going to counseling together in October of 2013. Here is a direct quote from Janay: 

“Even though counseling has a certain stigma among both men and women -- especially in the African-American community -- Ray and I wanted to work toward building better communication between us. I know he wanted to face a lot of things that he went through in his childhood, like not having his father around. Because he didn't have that example, a lot of the times we would bicker over little things and I would tell him that this isn't how a man is supposed to act. At the time he wasn't mature enough to know that, and I wanted to be able to voice my feelings better.”

Janay graduated from college with her Bachelor’s in Communication in December 2013. She said that at that point, things were moving in the right direction, and she felt her relationship with Ray was in a good place. 

[Shaun]

That brings us to Valentine’s Day 2014. Janay and Ray had put off their wedding due to the birth of their daughter, but they had plans to marry later that year, and Janay said that she was looking forward to a romantic Valentine's Day celebration, with just the two of them. 

However, Ray had planned a group trip to Atlantic City with 2 other couples – his brother and his girlfriend and another couple Ray and Janay were friends with. Janay later admitted she was pretty annoyed that weekend. She tried to plan a surprise couples massage for her and Ray, but the hotel manager accidentally spoiled the surprise. 

She said that she was irritated because nothing was going right. 

I think I can, and probably a lot of listeners can, relate to what Janay was going through. The 2 of them had been having a rough time, but things were getting better, and she had one idea in her mind of what the holiday would look like, and this wasn’t it for her. 

On the night of the 14th, the group went out to restaurants and clubs, drinking and having a good time, sharing several bottles of liquor between them and with fans. At some point, Ray and Janay began bickering. Janay told ESPN that no one in the group can remember what started the argument and that it was something pretty insignificant. She admitted they were both drunk and tired. The group had partied all night until the very early hours of the morning on the 15th. 

As we mentioned before, there is a recording of this incident. Janay has said that what happened was very foggy. 

After the altercation, both Ray and Janay were arrested and charged with simple assault. The charges against Janay were dropped, but Ray would later be charged with 3rd degree aggravated assault. 

Janay told ESPN that while they were in the police station, Ray kept saying things would be okay and that he was sorry. 

Ray’s attorney, Michael Daimondstein, said it was a minor altercation and told USA Today: 

“We think the matter of the charges involved will not be substantiated. Ray and Janay Palmer are together. They’re in counseling and happy. Neither wish to see the other prosecuted. For some reason the State of New Jersey prosecuted. As always, we only hope the public reserves judgment until the facts are brought to light.”

The Ravens said: “This is part of the due process for Ray. We know there is more to Ray Rice than this one incident.”

[John]

Ray and Janay returned home from Atlantic City and braced themselves for the media exposure. Just a few days later, on February 19, the first video of the incident was made public. The world was stunned to see Ray Rice dragging his unconscious fiance out of an elevator. He stood over her for a short time, and then walked away as security and the police showed up. 

When Janay’s mom saw the tape, she said she confronted him about what he did. Candy told him that he never should have left her like that. Janay said that she was sick to her stomach and cried over the video. She said she wanted more of an explanation from him. Ray told both Candy and Janay that he was in shock and terrified after what happened.  

Ray also told Candy that this was the first and only time anything like this had ever happened in their relationship. 

On March 27, Ray was indicted on 3rd degree assault. The following day, Janay and Ray were married. Janay told ESPN that the timing was a coincidence. They had already planned the wedding date in advance, and family and friends were already expected to attend. 

She said they had been together for 7 years and engaged for 2 years, and what happened that night was not going to change the fact that they were going to get married on March 28. 

In May 2014, Janay agreed to do a press conference at the behest of the Baltimore Ravens. The Ravens thought it would be a good thing for Ray to take ownership for what happened, and Janay was willing to do anything in her power to help at that point. Janay has said that the statements she made during the press conference were not word-by-word scripted by the NFL or the Ravens, but that she had been asked to make certain points. 

During the press conference, Janay apologized for her role in the incident that night. She told Matt Lauer that she wasn’t trying to make an excuse for Ray, she was doing what the Ravens had asked.

In that interview with Matt Lauer she said that she also had been arrested, so she obviously had something to apologize for. But, she said she never would have made that apology if the Ravens hadn’t asked her to. 

Lauer pointed out that the Ravens tweeted out Janay’s apology, but quickly took it down. 

[Shaun]

I want to read another direct quote from Janay here: 

“When it was my turn to speak, I said I regretted my role in the incident. I know some people disagreed with me publicly apologizing. I'm not saying that what Ray did wasn't wrong. He and I both know it was wrong. It's been made clear to him that it was wrong. But at the same time, who am I to put my hands on somebody? I had already apologized to Ray, and I felt that I should take responsibility for what I did. Even though this followed the Ravens' suggested script, I owned my words.

I also wanted to show people that I was supportive of Ray just like I'd always been. At that point, I felt very optimistic that this would soon be over. The video already was out there.”

At this point, for Janay and Ray, things were getting back to normal. Ray had been accepted into a diversion program. All criminal charges against him would be dropped, so long as he participated in the court mandated counseling. 

During that summer, Janay and Ray met with Roger Goodell, commissioner of the NFL, and shared with him the details of that night. On July 24, it was announced that Ray was suspended for 2 games. 

Victim advocates and many others believed this 2 game suspension was much too lenient. U.S. Senators Richard Blumenthal (D-Conn.), Tammy Baldwin (D-Wis.) and Chris Murphy (D-Conn.), sent a letter to Goodell stating

“The decision to suspend Mr. Rice for a mere two games sends the inescapable message that the NFL does not take domestic or intimate-partner violence with the seriousness they deserve.” 

Players who had used drugs had gotten substantially longer suspensions than Ray did. For example, that August, Cleveland Browns wide receiver Josh Gordon was suspended for the entire season for using marijuana. 

Nevertheless, Ray went to training camp and Janay was hopeful it was all behind them. 

Everything changed on the morning of September 8, 2014. 

TMZ released the video captured inside the elevator, and the public was horrified and outraged by what they saw.  

[John]

The recording had no sound, but the couple was arguing. Janay had stated she was frustrated with Ray. They were arguing, and he was looking at his phone. 

She grabbed his phone, and he spit in her face. She slapped him, and he punched her in her jaw. He punched her hard enough to knock her down. She hit her head on one of the railings in the elevator and was knocked out cold. He then dragged her out of the elevator. This graphic video left no doubts as to what Ray had done. 

Janay has said she hasn’t watched the second video and she will not watch it. Candy said she was sick when she saw the recording. She also said that the video made Janay look like a victim of domestic violence to everyone, and Candy says she is not. Janay denies yany violence before or since, and told Matt Lauer she would never allow that to happen to her and never in front of her kids. 

Here is another quote from Janay’s statement to ESPN:

“I still find it hard to accept being called a "victim." I know there are so many different opinions out there about me -- that I'm weak, that I'm making excuses and covering up abuse -- and that some people question my motives for staying with Ray.

However, I'm a strong woman and I come from a strong family. Never in my life have I seen abuse, nor have I seen any woman in my family physically abused. I have always been taught to respect myself and to never allow myself to be disrespected, especially by a man. Growing up, my father used to always tell my sister and I, "We don't need a man to make us, if anything it's the man who needs us."

That same day, Roger Goodell stated he didn’t get it right when he only suspended Ray for 2 games. He announced that Ray would be suspended indefinitely. The Baltimore Ravens dropped him from the team. 

There has been some controversy over whether or not the NFL or Goodell had seen the tape before September 8. Goodell claimed he had not seen it, but a few days later, on September 11, the AP published evidence from an anonymous source in law enforcement, that showed that the tape had been delivered to the NFL security chief in April. 

Ray appealed the indefinite suspension and won. An arbitrator overturned the NFL, stating that Ray never lied or misled the NFL at all about the incident. Effectively he was being punished twice for the same incident, just because a tape had come out. 

Ray also would later sue the league for the funds due on his contract, claiming wrongful termination. The case was settled and it was determined that Ray had been upfront from the start, but it was the NFL who attempted to cover up or minimize the event. 

In 2016, Ray tried to persuade a team to sign him to play in the NFL by stating his entire salary would be donated to a domestic violence agency, but no one offered him a contract. Ray’s career in the NFL was over. 

[Shaun] 

But this is not where the story ends. 

We thought it was important to talk about this case because it highlights how lenient the NFL has been when it comes to domestic violence. What Ray did to Janay and how the public and the NFL reacted was one of the key incidents that helped push the NFL into stricter and consistent policies. 

Another reason why we wanted to talk about this case was because of the extraordinary work Ray has done over the past decade to address the root causes of violence in himself. He has demonstrated a clear dedication to working on himself and his relationship with Janay, and he continues to share his experience to help educate the public about domestic violence. 

Josh Dean, a journalist with Men’s Journal spent time with Ray for an article published in May 2022. This article goes into significant detail of what Ray did and continues to do after the assault. Josh wrote:

“After he set his life on fire, Ray Rice actually had two options. He could hole up, hide out, and vanish, a tarnished figure who would eventually fade away; or he could step right out into the maelstrom and begin to rehabilitate himself.” 

[John] 

Ray chose the latter. He was determined to make things right and improve himself for his wife and his daughter. 

Ray completed his court-mandated counseling, but he didn’t stop once he finished the year that was required of him. He continued to participate in therapy. In an interview with Gayle King, Ray discussed what he had been able to learn about himself through the counseling he received.

He said that before the incident, he never wanted to ask for help, and he didn’t recognize that there were different kinds of abuse, not just physical abuse, but emotional and financial abuse as well. 

His assault forced him to examine his childhood and his upbringing. He said that he was told to be the man of the house and not to cry. He has said he was a man at age 11 but a boy at 21. He had normalized things that shouldn’t have been normalized. 

He has adamantly stated that he hates the person he saw in the videos of the assault. He has also stated that nothing like that had ever happened before in his relationship, but if it’s one time, it’s still one time too many.

[Shaun] 

What I found interesting is that Ray does not miss football. He sees football as being one of the factors that led to the assault. He has stated that football was giving him cover to ignore his issues, and when he was under the pressure of playing football, that was the person he hated the most. 

He said he didn’t deserve a second chance at football after what he did. The second chance he wanted was the second chance he got with his wife and his family, and that was all that mattered to him.

In the interview with CBS News, Ray said:

“there's a difference between being “a man” and “the man.”: "I believe there are two types of people, right, as a man. You get to be 'the man' and you get to be 'a man'. You can only be 'the man' for a moment. Over my career, through high school, I was 'the man' but you get to make a conscious choice to be 'a man' for a lifetime.”

Ray has spoken at dozens of colleges and high schools. He never minimizes or excuses what he did. His goal is always to educate other young men and prevent them from becoming abusers. 

Ravens President Sashi Brown said.

"He was also consistently in the community, giving back. Importantly, after Ray's incident he owned it. On his own accord, Ray undertook critical work within himself and to bring awareness to and educate others on domestic violence. Nothing will change his past or make it right, but Ray's work has allowed him to atone for his actions and rebuild relationships personally and professionally, including with the Ravens."

Janay has said she gave him a second chance because she had known him since he was 15 years old and she knew in that moment it wasn’t him. It wasn’t who he was. 

Both Ray and Janay have said that they’ve talked about this incident as a family, as their daughter is now 12 and it will come to light one day. 

[John] 

As we said, Ray never tried to hide from what he did. He not only talked with mental health professionals, he also talked with advocates and listened to survivors of domestic violence. He has donated time and money to domestic violence agencies. 

According to Ray, he did a bad thing. He was punished for that bad thing, and that’s the way it’s supposed to work. 

I think what’s key here is that Ray never lied. He never made excuses. He admitted what he did and said it was wrong. He never blamed Janay or anyone other than himself. He worked and continued to work on himself right from the start. He didn’t make any false promises to his wife. He didn’t just give lip service to “getting help” – he sought help and stuck with it. 

Janay and Ray are still married, and they have a 7-year-old son in addition to their daughter. 

On Sunday, December 31, 2023, Ray was honored by the Ravens as a Legend of the Game. The Ravens statement said, “Rice is being recognized for the player he was, and for the redemption he has worked towards.”

This episode we also wanted to draw attention to the policies in sports and discuss what leagues can do to prevent violence and support survivors. It’s important to note here that forcing someone into counseling won’t magically fix the problem. Ray was committed to the process and to his family and he knew real change wasn’t going to happen overnight.

While Ray says that getting away from football helped him be a better person, it would be shortsighted to assume that suspending a player or kicking them out of the league will solve their issues with using control or violence against their partners. 

[Shaun] 

Since 2014 the NFL has worked on revising their policies in regards to domestic violence. Roger Goodell has rightfully faced a lot of criticism during his time as commissioner. We mentioned earlier how a player was suspended for an entire season for using weed. Here’s another example: 

In 2018, Mychal Kendricks was suspended for 8 games for insider trading, while Tampa Bay Buccs quarterback Jameis (Jay-miss) Winston was suspended 3 games after he was accused of groping a female uber driver and Ravens cornerback Jimmy Smith was suspended for 4 games for domestic violence all in that same year. 

NFL policy as of 2022 is a minimum suspension of 6 games without pay, and that certain factors such as using a gun, children being present, choking/strangulation, can enhance the punishment, but complying with counseling and with the investigation can lessen the punishment. 

A second violation is banishment from the NFL. The policies also include providing support for the victims, such as therapists, social services, and security. 

[John] 

We are grateful to the advocates who continue to raise these issues. When more than half of the arrests of NFL players are for domestic violence crimes, it seems clear that punishment won’t always be the answer, and more needs to be done to prevent these crimes. When aggression is seen as a virtue in sports, we can understand how players like Ray Rice observed that the sport itself was providing cover for unresolved issues. 

I don’t think any sport wants to have a reputation for being lenient with abusers, and many want to do the right thing. Over the last 10 years, Ray Rice has changed, and the NFL and MLB seem willing to listen and adapt policies. Some of that is influenced by public pressure, and we all should continue to press the leagues when their policies fall short or don’t serve victims and families.

But, not all sports treat domestic violence with the seriousness it needs. Next week we will have 3 more cases related to domestic violence and sports, covering stories from MMA and boxing, but we will also be covering one of the most prominent cases in sports and true crime involving a former Olympian. 

[Shaun] 

Also, we have a very special announcement. We now have a Patreon tier that is only $1 a month, which gives you ad-free access to all of our regular episode releases. We also offer the $3 a month tier that includes our weekly bonus episodes as well. Just got to sinspod.co/patreon to subscribe. 

As we mentioned, October is Domestic Violence Awareness month and all month long we will be bringing you some special collaborations and episodes from our colleagues in True Crime so we can highlight important stories from outside of Las Vegas. 

Thank you as always for listening! If you’re enjoying the podcast please leave us a review or share our episode with a friend. 

Until next week, remember What Happens Here, Happens Everywhere.